I don’t talk much on this blog about my life as a Mum.
Not that it’s not important to me, because the truth is, it is my most important role in life. It’s just that it’s never really come up all that much.
But before I go on, I feel like I need to say a bit of a disclaimer here… being a mother, doesn’t define me. And it took me a very long time to get to this point. Sure, my role as Mum has me pretty much “on” 24/7. But being a Mum isn’t who I am, it’s just something I do. And just because I’m a mother, it doesn’t mean I don’t want and need time to myself. I really want all Mums or Mums-to-be out there to know that it is certainly not selfish to spend a little time each day just for you. Of course there are days where that’s just not possible, but you should never feel guilty for wanting a bit of time out.
My role of Mother is one that not only changed the way I live my life, but it changed me as a person from the inside out. One day, I will sit down and put a post together telling you just how much my children mean to me. But to be honest, I find it so hard to put into words just how much love I have for these two little people.
The obvious fact is that I am a Mum. And for me, being a Mum means that whatever happens – family life will always come first.
Quite often it means I don’t blog as regularly.
Sometimes it means newsletters don’t get sent out.
Occasionally it means I get a few weeks behind in study.
Sometimes emails don’t get answered so quickly.
It also means I have to pull myself up from looking at the way other people’s businesses are flourishing and just be ok with where I am now.
I don’t always have the luxury of time. I don’t always have the luxury of quiet. And sometimes, even though my mind is at peace, my outside world (and one very inquisitive 4 year old) is asking me a millions and one questions.
But that’s ok. Because I choose my family. And I have the luxury of being here (when I know a lot of people do not).
I choose to answer those questions to enable her to understand the world around her. I choose to be here for the laughter, the tears, the sickness, the milestones, the sibling arguments, the nappies, the Kinder drop offs, the lack of sleep, the endless episodes of Peppa Pig, the craft, the dress-ups, the play dates, the spills, the smiles, the fun. And the LOVE.
The reason for this post is really due to the fact that Motherhood, this week, has kind of kicked my butt. Both my little ones have been quite sick (there was even a trip to the emergency room yesterday which wasn’t too fun… All is ok now though). Both have demanded my time, my arms and my love. There hasn’t been much sleep. Balls have been dropped and calls have gone unanswered. And self-care has completely gone out the window. They have been my priority.
There’s been a lot of arguments between the two of them as to who can sit on my lap and who can get the most cuddles. There has been food spilt, noses wiped, temperatures monitored, tears and lot of whinging. I’m exhausted.
It is now past 4pm and I am still be in my pyjamas. I may be physically drained and I may have a to-do list the size of my leg. But as I lay there on the couch earlier with one of them asleep on my chest, and the other asleep snuggled beside me, I couldn’t help but smile and feel content.
I am eternally grateful to be a mother.
I choose my family because I want to. And if that means that my blog and business take baby steps rather than giant leaps – then that’s ok with me.
Being a mother (and wife) is more important to me than any other role I play. And those two sleeping and sniffly babies will never know just how much their love, and their role in my life, means to me.
I am blessed.