I had a post already planned today. A kind of “hey, it’s my first post of 2015” kind of feel. But the past few weeks have been just so monumental in my life as a mother, that this was the post that needed to come.
Motherhood is such a big part of my life, and yet I haven’t written about too much about it in this space. In actual fact, I could probably write an entire book on my experiences with being a Mum – the way it has transformed me, shaped me and taught me more about myself than I ever thought possible. And then on top of all that? Love… A love for two little people that is both powerful and unwavering. Sometimes frightening, but always joy-filled. A mother’s love truly is like nothing else in this world.
This is what this new series is about… my journey, my lessons. I put the call out a few months ago for what you wanted to see more of in this space – and “motherhood” was something that so many of you want to see more of here.
It makes sense to write a little more about my experience. So here it is… a new little series. A snapshot of so much growth + an everlasting connection. And an insight into something that, for me, is always evolving.
These two little people are, and continue to be – my greatest teachers.
This week, our little girl started school.
HUGE milestone for anyone. Epic. Monumental.
She was ready. So very ready. But for me, it brought up so much emotion I just didn’t know was there.
“Am I ready?”
“Have I done enough to prepare her?”
“Have I given her enough of myself over the past 5 years?”
So many thoughts, feelings and emotions bubbled up inside me. And it wasn’t until a very powerful yoga class that it all came out. It was then that I realised that this wasn’t about the questions. This wasn’t about the emotion. It wasn’t even about school.
One single fact remained – I am just really going to miss my girl. The time between her first entering the world, and me holding that precious soul in my arms, to now – had flown by far too quickly.
5 years together. She gave me the greatest gift anyone has ever given me – she chose me, and in turn – made me a mummy. I’ve watched this little girl grow, explore the world around her, ask questions, learn, seek, find clarity, develop a connection to herself + find her groove in the world. All the while being right there next to her.
She inspires me. Her wit, her determination, her sense of fun + joy are daily blessings in my life.
And I will miss having that regular time with her each day.
But on the flip side, I know she is ready. And I just know how much she will thrive at school. Even after one day I see change in her. A new found confidence and maturity. It’s an exciting time ahead!
I look at her now, and with fresh eyes, I see that she really is equipped with the tools she needs to start this new chapter.
This morning I came back to this post – a moment that is so precious to me. A year on and our girl still has that sacred connection to her own self-love. Let me tell you a short story…
The other day, we wrote her morning routine out together. This is a colourful illustrated list of things she needs to tick off each morning before school. She had most of the input and I did the writing. First on her list was “my meditation and time to say ‘I love myself'”.
Right there and then, I knew I had done my job. She was ready.
Once again, through the eyes of my children, I have learnt just how strong our influence is. That by being who we are – embracing it + loving it – we can have an impact on the lives of those around us.
In our home, I live openly. My spiritual practice is out there and the children (our girl in particular) often ask me questions about what I am doing. “What is this crystal good for Mum?” “Can I have some of that calm oil please?” “Can I do meditation with you today Mama?”
If we spend time away from them (me at yoga or off to write + my husband to surf) and they ask why, we explain why we do it and how it makes us better people for taking that time for ourselves. I want them to know that taking time for themselves to do the things they love can never be selfish. This is a guilt free zone.
Quietly + softly, I try to mindfully just do my thing. Questions are encouraged and welcomed, but I will never force my beliefs on them. I don’t want a “mini-me”. I just want to guide two unique humans to know that whatever they do, whatever they say, wherever they go – they will always be enough.
As I watched our little lady take her first steps into school, I knew she was enough, but the important thing was that I saw she knew it too.