I will freely admit that I used to suffer from a mean case of FOMO (fear of missing out). I would force myself to keep partying for fear of something good happening whilst I slept. Or, even worse, if they all started talking about me after I had gone. I would say yes to everything but for all the wrong reasons. I stuck around in pointless relationships because I was afraid of what would happen when I let go.
I clung onto everything around me with such a tight grip. Because if I were to let go, I’d have to start looking inside for answers. I’d have to deal with my eating disorder. I’d have to face those feelings of self-loathe. I’d have to get to know myself and confront a whole lot of mess that I just wasn’t ready to face. Sure, on the outside I was all smiles and laughter, but inside I forcing myself to be someone I just didn’t feel comfortable being. Maybe I should have called it FOTU instead… (fear of the unknown).
So I surrounded myself with anything and everything to distract me. Bandaids – partying, crappy food, meaningless relationships, loads of Facebook “friends”, pointless jobs. My life was full. But of all the wrong things. I was drifting further and further away from who I really was.
Then motherhood happened. And I was responsible for not just me, but for a family. And I realised that to be the best mother and wife I could be, I had to be the best person I could be first. To do that, I had to make some changes. I had to be accountable for the things I do. I had to face that fear of space.
I started to say no to things that didn’t give me a feeling of joy. I bid a fond farewell to friendships that had run their course. I dug down really deep and cleared out those old behaviour patterns. I did a bit of a clear out of my Facebook friends. And I decided that I was not going to live my life based on what I thought other people thought of me (sweet freedom, right there!).
I created space.
And with that space, came some of the biggest blessings of my life to date. I believe the Universe has a divine plan for all of us, I just needed to learn some lessons, make some changes and then like a magnet, all these incredible things started to happen. The energy had shifted.
You know that feeling of freedom and calm that comes after a spring clean of your house? That feeling is possible for the rest of your life too. Clutter, in all areas of your life, can make you feel unbalanced. Give yourself permission to let go of anything that doesn’t make your heart sing!
Over time, I let go of so much of what was holding me back (and most of that was old behaviours!). Letting go brought with it a beautiful sense of calm and trust. There was no emptiness.
Any emptiness or feeling of lack I was worried about, was quickly soon filled up with so much goodness.
I let go of what I thought was a positive control over my life, I looked deep inside, did the work and then opened myself up to the person I knew was always there.
Those old friendships were replaced with beautiful, soul-enriching new connections.
I let go of what I thought I should be doing, and suddenly found what I am meant to be doing.
We shouldn’t be afraid to let go of the things that don’t serve us well. Why are we hanging onto them in the first place? And what could be waiting in the wings for us if we move past that fear and create the space?
It wasn’t until I stopped running away from myself, loosened that grip and created space that I found my place in the world.
Have you created space and suddenly found yourself living more in line with your truth? Do you need to give yourself permission to let go? Let’s chat in the comments below, beautiful.
Love, Peace & Shining Light,