How often do you wake up each morning and the first thing you do is look at your phone?
How often do you kiss your partner good night, then quickly scroll through Facebook before going to sleep?
How many times have you said you’d have a quick look at Pinterest for 5 minutes, only to find an hour has gone?
How many times have you uttered the words “just a minute” to your children because you’re busy checking out what’s new over on Instagram?
How often have you sat down to watch a movie, and been scrolling through your phone at the same time?
How many times have you vowed to only use your phone at certain times of the day, only to have it work it’s way back into your life within hours?
I have to put my hand up to each of those at one time or another. And it pains me.
The “smart” phone, that can pretty much run our lives from one little device, is certainly doing just that – running our life.
And I’ve had enough of it.
I have a little secret… Nothing irritates me more than seeing my husband use his phone. In my head (aka “ego”), I believe that he spends so much of the day at work, that when he gets home he should be completely present with us. Then to see him on his phone is one of the most frustrating things in the world for me. But it’s not like I’m the Mother Teresa of smart phone use. I still sit on mine (and it’s not like he’s even on his phone that much). Pot calling the kettle black maybe? I know that his behaviour aggravates me because it is completely mirroring my own.
Mindless scrolling, looking for goodness knows what! It’s become this dirty little habit that I’d really like to live without.
What are we hoping to see when we scroll and scroll? What are we afraid of if we take the leap and actually put down our phones? That we will miss some kind of life changing news? What is it with our need to know everything at the exact time it happens?
Let’s be honest here, I’m all for a bit of online sharing. I love being able to connect with family and friends overseas, I love being inspired by my online tribe, I love pinning to my online vision board (Pinterest) and I love the happy place that is Instagram. I adore social media. It has brought me new friendships, work and really, my soul purpose.
BUT when it’s taking over my life, and making me miss the day to day moments of REAL life, that’s when I know it’s time to pull back.
A few days ago, I watched this post by Tara Bliss. So much of that resonated with me. Forming connections behind the computer are beautiful, but it’s so easy to get stuck behind the screen and miss that soul to soul personal connection.
Then that afternoon I enjoyed a blissful few hours in the afternoon sunshine, with my daughter and her kinder class. Switched off, present, grounded. HAPPY. No phones. Just fresh air, movement and laughter. I felt alive.
And it was in that moment, that I made a vow to myself to once and for all, stop my reliance on my phone.
They say it takes 21 days to form or break a habit – so 21 days it is.
I can’t say that I won’t have my phone for 21 days, because unfortunately I need it for my work, plus it’s my main go-to camera these days. And I don’t expect abstinence. Smart phones are a part of our lives now. And they most definitely have their use. But this, for me, is all about controlled use.
Control to ultimately bring freedom.
Disconnection to reconnect.
I want to reconnect to the moment, to my husband, to my children, to my family, to my friends. Rather than have long conversations over text, let’s have chai! Rather than send numerous emails, let’s meet in person! Rather than “like” your photo of your wearing your new dress, let me tell you in person!
My whole being is calling out for that connection.
I don’t want to have a large part of my day taken up with mindless scrolling just because it’s a habit I can’t break. I want to be there. Be present. Be involved. Have conversations. Laugh. Talk.
I figure that this space is as good as any to declare my intention (and let’s face it – keep me accountable)…
1. I am going to buy a little clock to have beside my bed, and my phone will remain in the kitchen each night.
2. I will not keep my phone on silent all day, and then check it constantly to see if someone has messaged or called. Phone on, and then I’ll just know if someone is calling.
3. When I am meeting someone, I will be ALL there. Phone stays in the bag.
4. When I am with my children, I am ALL there. Phone away.
5. At night time, when it’s time for my husband and I to catch up on our days, NO phones.
6. If I am using my phone to see a recipe or to take a camera, I will not check social media at the same time (unless of course that recipe is on social media!).
Do you need to spend a little less time on your phone? Do you have something more to add to our intentions? And will you join me? Hit me with your intentions.
If you’re keen to join me, I’d love for you to share this post on your page. Let’s all start to disconnect a little to reconnect to the things that truly matter. Because when I’m old, and grey – I want to remember the moments of joy and laughter. Not how many likes I received on a photo.
Love & Light,