Sitting down to the write for the first time in weeks (hey there!).  And it feels good.  So good.  Writing is such an anchor for me, and in the craziness of life, I can often forget that.

I’m not going to lie – finding the balance of self care if often a struggle.  ALL the ideas, ALL the grand intentions, but not enough time.  I seem to get pockets of time and want to fill them with everything,

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I can’t believe how long it has been since I’ve done something like this.  Something for me.  Something that combines both my love of writing, and my love of almond mylk chai lattes (#winning).
Something that both lifts me and fills me.

Sunshine pouring through the cafe window – there is nothing but love and gratitude here.  How sweet it is to have the ability to live life on our own terms. 

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And this is me.

The final day of 2016.  The year that I lost my way.  I started this year as one woman, and I complete the year as a very different one.  I found my way back home.

I’m not sure words are enough to fully express what this year has done to me.  Or if they ever will be.  But that’s ok.

The lessons? 

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Hey beautiful soul,

It’s been a while since I did a video post.  And post run, sweaty and raw, something told me that now was the time to jump on and press record.

Zero preparation, zero idea of what I was going to talk about.  Just the way I like it.

I think back to my first ever video post.  You can see it here, because it’s completely hilarious.  

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unspecified-7Hey you.

Can I just let out a big juicy sigh.  It feels good to be here.  After a couple of weeks of deep healing, intergration and then illness, it feels good to feel like me again.  A fresh version too.  Perhaps we are now up to Amelia version 32.5?

Anyway.  There has been a lot of my mind lately.  So I thought I would share a little about what’s been happening.

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Growing pains,
I’ve felt them.
Emotion rising.
Exhaustion, overwhelming.

When the body heals, it is an open channel.
Vulnerable.  Weakness comes before strength.
Tears.  Softness.  But underlying gratitude.
I am thankful.

I trust in this process.
I trust my body.
Because I know without any doubt,
That my body is always the last to catch up.

So I stop.

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I’m almost 33.  And I’m pretty certain that I’ve spent almost three quarters of my life agonising over the way I looked, or what people thought of me.

Why did I put myself through that time and time again?  Deep down I knew there was a different way, yet I kept going.  A glutton for punishment.

It’s very easy for me to see that as time wasted.  

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